I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half.~Jay Gould

Lip Service

by: ReeL

Fri Feb 09, 2007 at 12:11:07 PM MST

Living with a rhinovirus for the past week has really put a cramp in my breathing style. Sinus congestion is miserable. But I've never before really considered the plight of the everyday mouth-breather. Just as there are many GUTs (Grand Unified Theories) of the physical universe, like the "string theory" of the past few decades, there are also GUTs of illness. Some people believe that the food we eat keeps the body's ph level too acidic, and creates the breeding ground for all things bad. Well another such theory, it turns out, holds that breathing through the mouth instead of the nose is the source of many of our ailments.

ReeL :: Lip Service

Enter the Lip Trainer. And leave it to the Japanese to invent it. It's a device built to exercise the lips, which in turn promotes proper nose breathing. Apperently it can aid everything from bad breath to menopause. In the scope of Grand Unified Theories of Illness, it's definitely an original. Just think about it: if President Bush built up his lip muscles appropriately, he might do away with his probable sleep apnea, leaving him bright eyed in the morning, ready to tackle the world's problems... ready to choose diplomacy over invading another poor helpless country. And Cheney might be less irritable if his "Number of times of visiting toilet while sleeping is reduced." It's worth a try.