today in accidentally obfuscating attempts at street harassment:
ME: [walking very swiftly down Broadway to get Shake Shack back to flatmates before burgers get cold]
HIM: [sidles up to me] so, hey, I’ve seen you around, you’re really cute; who are you?
I looked down at him (he was shorter than me) and blurted from sheer shock in a deep, theatrical voice: “I DO NOT CONSORT WITH HUMANS.” without breaking step.
he stopped walking and yelped “what the fuck” while I managed to keep a straight face and not burst out laughing and ruin the entire effect.